JabberJuls

Sunny and warm most the morning. Now there is an overcast sky with a cool breeze circulating through the house. Quite refreshing. Finished shredding papers finally. Dumped the crumbled up shreds into the dumpster on my way to picking up the mail. Fav magazines for special gourmet foods and travel locations in the mail today. Nice to not have voting junk mail any longer to have to sort into the trash can straight from the mailbox. Admiring my newly blooming roses that some how the Lord managed to grow for me. I think I’ll go cut some for my kitchen. Sitting here drinking some iced tea and looking at the fresh cut roses as I make this post.

Cat nap is kreeping up on me. So why fight it. I’ll rest awhile. Hope u had a fulfilling day.

“Trust”

Funny that that term is used when making a living will. It’s people trusting that their wishes are fulfilled. My sister, Robin, coldly tried to insist that I believe I was never comissioned by mom & dad to be their successor trustee. She believes I don’t know my parents and didn’t love them. Well, truth is—I DID. Mom & Dad did choose me to be there first successor, not Robin. According to the Legal Bowman Trust, I was honored with that position. Apparently, my siblings couldn’t allow me to experience that honor.

One month after my father’s death, my siblings caused such duress for my mom, isolated her & I with lies and ruthless jealousy issues, and took advantage of her with their manipulating overpowering abilities at a time of grief and her desire to have relationship with them that was never there–and changed the “trust”. She became totally dependent on them and felt abandoned by me because thats the nonsense they fed her. Because they didn’t respect me being there to help mom with decisions, they made it mentally impossible to keep peace. They wanted their way with Mom and mom gave into them to keep peace and have them there. She gave up her wishes to be with them. I backed off and honored Mom’s desire for them.

Yes, the first thing mom told me when we finally made peace with each other. She said to me and Russ, “They kept me drugged and made me change the will”. Wow…now things make sense.

Well, Seeing it in writing that I was given that honor– just reassures the blessings of real love my parents had for me. Its not in my mind. It wasn’t my misunderstanding. It was My honor. My heart smiles knowing that. For my siblings not to allow me to have that honor and force mom to change it–is their issue to face God over.

Only thing this whole situation has done for me is recognize my true place in my siblings lives. There is none, nor ever will be. They place value in things, rather than true family unification. Well, they’ll tell you, “No…Julie misunderstands. We love her and want to be family.” As their second face shows to me speaking cruel jealous remarks and isolation. Because if I communicate truth to them –then I’m just a problem. They see little picture that includes just themselves, can’t phathim the big picture –that includes all of us and how they affect me too.

Best answer is for me to let go, so they can live free of me.

ARIZONA – MY KIND OF STATE !!!

I must show ID when:

1. Pulled over by the police.

2. Making purchases on my department store credit card.

3. When I show up for a doctor’s appointment.

4. When filling out a credit card or loan application.

5. When applying for/renewing a driver’s license or passport.

6. When applying for any kind of insurance.

7. When filling out college applications.

8. When donating blood.

9. When obtaining certain prescription drugs.

10. When making some debit purchases, especially if I’m out of state.

11. When collecting a boarding pass for airline or train travel.

I’m sure there are more instances but the point is, we citizens are required to prove who we are nearly every day.

Why should people illegally in this country be exempt? For that matter, perhaps the liberals here can answer the question as to why we shouldn’t
guard our borders as closely as every other country in the world does?

GO ARIZONA!!!!

I recall in California I have to show my ID for the following plus some also.

Wow… to my surprise my sibling honestly believes its OK for her to gossip lies about me to my siblings and mother, hold hidden bitterness and jealousy against me which a few crept out at the funeral, and yet feels I’m under bondage of sin and must surrender to the Lord fully. LOL

BEWARE OF CHRISTIANS LIKE THIS
This paragraph is the perfect example of a Christian that feels they are Holier than anyone or at least me anyway. She doesn’t even know me (She knows my siblings and Mother tho LOL) and yet has made this judgment against me. Scary to know she really believes this is a way to keep peace and unity. Good try, but its time to read it back to yourself Robin and take your advice as well. I’m praying for you to see the Truth too.
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For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
— Jeremiah 29:11

As God is at work in our lives, we may see only a brushstroke here or a dash of color there and say, “Wait. What is this? I don’t know if I agree.” We need to step back and give God room.
There will be an expected end. There will be a completion. And ultimately, it will be good. God had a future for Paul, and God has a future for you. And in that final day, Jesus is not going to say, “Well done, good and successful servant.” He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” So be faithful.

Merry Christmas to all and
to all a goodnight.

Beware of & Stay away from Fake people that have two faces. If you discover some, run before they torture the life out of you with their lies & perspectives

BE REAL- what you see is what you get with no mind games kind of person.

Life is too short to pretend you are family when you aren’t.
Accept the truth and move on.

If you are lucky enough to have real people in your life, treasure them and cherish every moment you are blessed with.

Dad I love you and thank you for blessing me by being real. Jesus I’m hanging onto you for dear life and you alone. Help our families. In Jesus name I ask, amen.

It’s funny how my siblings have this perception that I hold hatred against someone when I don’t. What I do hate is their manipulation of the truth–even God hates that! They clearly don’t know me.

Are they Judging Me? LOL just something my siblings tell everyone not to do to them. God knows my heart & what I saw & the choice I’ve made to stay away from further happenings. Is it so hard to respect my choice too? I’ve respected yours to go on as if nothing happened. I believed I am actually a blood sister the last I knew–does that count for anything? No you say. Ok.

Its Just like this…when you discover places not safe to walk in your neighborhood, you don’t walk that way. It is to avoid any problems for yourself or others. Is that hatred? Not at all–it’s called being smart.

There is a difference between hatred & choosing not to be around someone.
Just because my siblings can’t understand that concept they slap on my mom this nonsense trip that I’m full of hatred. We all choose to believe what we want so i’ll respect your belief and expect you to respect mine.

So why is your perception the only way? Hmmm to isolate me (a sister) and show hatred against me. So who has hatred here?

Whatever… God knows my heart not you.

Proverbs 10:18 (New Living Translation)
18 Hiding hatred makes you a liar;
slandering others makes you a fool.

———————————
I read this verse today in my daily reading and it hit home for me. Pretty much sums up my situation I’m facing from my brothers and sisters in a nutshell. Telling me after the funeral how they’ve resented Dad’s love for me all my life and we never had a true relationship–I feel They’ve hidden hatred against me in their heart’s for so long. Guess I was the only one living a Fantasy that I had brothers & sisters. They’re good–to smile and hug me and pretend they cared when around me, but hidden inside is pure hatred. I feel sorry for them living that way. I believed our love and relationship to be real, so to face this new reality of theirs is Mind-shattering. My sister Robin feels its her obligation to tell the siblings I’m always a problem (slandering me)–heard her myself as she turned to family right in front of my face at the funeral–instead of seeing me as a sister loving mom and honoring her wishes. Just because I wanted to verify mom’s true wishes about an issue that affected my family, I’m now an outsider to the siblings and mother too backing the craziness. Crazy stuff.

*sharing my shattered heart trying to understand in love. now I understand why the Lord will let go of us and allow us to turn to a reprobate heart– if we reject him. times like these you have to let go if all people see is evil from you when its love and can’t see the good that is honestly in you–what choice do you have? Let Go! Lord, I give this issue to you again. Forgive me for anything I’ve done and I forgive them for not realizing what they are doing.

Dad I miss you! Thank you for loving me so much that I know without a doubt Jesus loves me even more, which astounds me to realize there is possibly more.

Jesus I don’t understand what’s happening with misplaced blame & hatred towards me, but I know you do. Realizing I’m not wanted and looked at as being horrible for ensuring Mom’s wishes is heart breaking. Realizing the hatred behind the smiles & hugs is like a knife to my throat. Lord forgive me for anything I may have done unknowingly to cause hurt to them.

I thank you for the blessing of knowing how great your love is from my earthly Dad and I hold on to that to go on living each day the best I can handling situations with love the best I know how.

One saying of deep wisdom my brother told my mother years back and she shared with me was, “You can’t make someone love You.”

These words at one point in time hurt mom deeply for years hearing her own son say them to her. We all naturally believe the family we are born into just loves you no matter what you do. Most people believe being family attaches an invisible string to each other so you are never alone or isolated. Well, that’s how God intends family to be, but when jealousy, hatred, and other nonsense gets in the way–these words are the comforting truth. You can’t make anyone On this earth Love You.
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